I knew that to make the most of the CPC course (and to start making a change in 2024), I needed to have a different attitude/state of mind, and I definitely was not behaving at my best. But I decided to give it a shot and see what I could learn.
As I started interacting with my classmates, they started becoming human – as you start seeing a bit of yourself in them and stop judging and having unkind thoughts. I felt a moment of connection with Classmate X, and then through an exercise, a genuine connection with Classmate Y,
my partner for the “one childhood, teenage, and life-changing experience.” The exercise allowed me to humanize him, and I started to look at him differently and felt terrible for having thoughts of judgment about him just moments earlier. I saw someone who, like me, is also a 3-dimensional person with feelings, vulnerabilities, his own world of family and friends, and hurt, and I had the urge to help and connect with him.
Applying the coaching tools and techniques we’ve learned to a personal conflict was a significant step. It helped me manage the situation better and validated the practicality and relevance of the course concepts in real-life scenarios.
This is a significant milestone for me because, as outlined in previous days’ reflections, most of the concepts covered so far are already something I need to familiarize myself with / not rocket science. My challenge has always been about being more mindful/aware of them in day-to-day situations and being able to apply them in practice – and I was able to achieve that in the conversation tonight, which I’m chuffed about (hopefully not a short-lived ability because I’m in a different state of mind due to being in the course).
The last point is beneficial. When in a personal conflict/argument with my partner, I have always struggled to de-escalate conflicts because I focus on giving the answers based on my own “map” (and trying to win with reason / be correct) and speak most times with language of specificity intentionally (again because I’m overly arrogant and want to show I’m unambiguously correct and they’re unambiguously wrong) – I was always so confident that this approach will end the discussion because it is so overwhelmingly clear that my way is the right way by presenting all the facts! (I was clearly dealing with logic & reason rather than emotions. Even my partner had repeatedly pointed that out, and I would dismiss that as illogical and again maintain that we need to problem solve with only logic & reason and point out that he’s wrong again – HA).
However, this time was different. I let go of my need to prove myself right and instead guided my partner to find his answers. The process was not flawless, but I avoided escalating the conflict and stirring emotions. This was a significant achievement, especially considering my past tendency to suddenly explode despite my belief in my calm and logical approach.
The course taught me valuable lessons about effective communication and conflict resolution. By applying these principles to my personal life, I was able to break free from old patterns and create a more positive and fulfilling relationship. It was a powerful reminder that even the smallest changes in our approach can profoundly impact our interactions with others.