What was new learning for me? The NLP communication model was very helpful for me to understand the process within which humans receive, process, and store information. I was fascinated by the concept and how we store information. I’m very visual, so it was helpful to see how information was received, then filtered through our personal values, beliefs, attitudes, etc., and then stored in our preferred learning style. A process that is entirely unique to each individual; however, language and gestures can give insight into this process.
The part that is completely new to me is the way in which I can use this information to adjust my communication style to meet the coachee’s communication style, thereby improving understanding. I had cacophony related to a personal experience in which I connected a traumatic memory to loud music. I’ve wondered for years why music, especially loud music has the ability to bring me to tears. This understanding of the NLP has really clarified this for me.
How does it impact my “being and doing”? The “doing” portion relates to me observing and listening for verbal and physical cues that indicate the coachee’s preferred communication style. In addition to how the coachee expresses themselves, they also pay attention to what they say related to personal values, beliefs, and attitudes. This information is important because it allows the coach to relate to the coachee on their terms and learning language, building trust and rapport. The “doing” part is also connected to understanding my communication style so that I can be aware of the adjustments that I need to make in my language usage.
The “being” portion relates to my desire to meet the coachee where they are. To be able to relate to another person in a way that is based on how they perceive the world. It’s truly the definition of coachee centered work. The concept that one person can not only relate but can shift the way they relate to meet the style of another to improve communication is so powerful. I want my coachees to feel valued and heard. I want them to feel that we are both on the same page and that I am not only listening but understanding what they are sharing.
How does it change my world view and perspective? It makes sense that we all communicate in a unique way that is formed by our life experiences. I don’t think many people would argue that point. However, the idea that someone could adjust and modify their communication style to fit that of the person they are communicating with is really powerful.
Relationships of all types would be drastically improved with clear, effective, and specific communication. How much time is lost in miscommunication and misunderstanding? I think a great deal of negativity is created within the space of misunderstanding and miscommunication. What could be accomplished if we communicated in a synchronized way? A communication model that is focused on the person who is receiving the information and not on the person supplying the information is a shift in perspective that truly allows for shared dialogue. To be able to communicate with someone in a way that they can be immediately received and understood has the potential to change our world. This powerful communication tool is available, so why is it not being taught? Why are we not sharing this idea with world leaders, teachers, and healers? I believe it is because our world is self-centered and survival-focused. A model that was vital when we were early humans just trying to survive. As a human race, we need to evolve past this survival mode to a shared perspective focused on community and thriving together.
What does it make me stretch? This stretches my ability to recognize and understand these cues. I need to learn more about the type of non-verbal communication so that I can recognize it easily and adjust accordingly. Additionally, understanding my own communication and perception style helps me understand so that I can make that shift.
I’m in this profession because I want to help; I want to add value to the lives of others. In order to help my coachee, I think it’s essential to build rapport and establish a psychologically safe space. I would like to do this most concisely and effectively; being about to understand what they are saying along with what they are not saying is vital to helping a coachee feel valued and understood.
What does it inform me about my practice? At this point in my learning process, I understand I need more information about communicating in this way. I need to practice and observe conversations and communication styles in real-world conditions.
I also need to consider how this communication model translates to online sessions. One of the “covid blessings” for me has been using Zoom and the shift towards online platforms. This enables me to work from anywhere in the world with anyone, which is an awesome opportunity. However, it changes the way in which effective communication and rapport are established, interpreted, and developed.
